Infusior Port

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It was very early in the morning, before day break on a hot August day, as I traveled to the hospital to have a foreign object put in my chest. Something they called an Infuser Port. It is exactly what the name suggests. It’s a port by which they will import Chemotherapy or any other medication that should be given IV.  If they don’t do this your veins will collapse and or break down after a period of time. I thought to myself “this would absolutely be a junkies dream”. But moving along, I was told that this would be a simple procedure, no need to put me to sleep, just numb the area. I BELIEVED THEM. They had to open an area on my chest large enough to receive the port and then run a cathedra up and through my jugular vein. I felt every injection, of which there were many ~ every push and every manipulation and just as Bad, every comment of frustration the physician made all while pressing my head into the table and telling me not to move.  There came a point and time when the physician was on my neck and he yelled out “SHIT”.  At that moment, I wanted anybody who could help me. I yelled “YOU ARE HURTING ME, PLEASE STOP, I am IN PAIN”. All I could see was that big clock on the wall. What was to have been a forty minute procedure took one hour and forty five minuets. I called my dead mother to please help me and stop the pain. I cursed at him and he said “I’m Sorry” and then said “It was a difficult procedure” I did not know that another hospital would have put me to sleep. I told this doctor that I hated him and that he would never put his hands on me for any reason!

This thing that now looked like a door knob was bulging out of my chest.  There was also a bulge at my jugular vein, which impaired my swallowing and hampered my being able to speck a full sentence without stopping to breathe. I was in constant discomfort and fear. Positioning my head on a pillow became a problem because it always felt like part of this object was trying to push through my throat.  From the moment of getting off of the procedure table, I felt he did something wrong. When I spoke to my oncologist about this she said that she had never heard of this complaint before.  Little did I know that this would be just the beginning of many things she had never heard of. I know now in hindsight, I should have run from this medical community ~ but I was so scared and I just didn’t know.

After taking my second cocktail, which in the business of cancer is how they refer to chemotherapy and just for record, there are different cocktails, they are not all the same. My discomfort level had become worse and I was sent to imaging to see if there was a crack in the tube that ran through the jugular vein. At that time I was told that depending on the malfunction, the chemo could burn me out. I was then sent to another hospital where I was put to sleep and the port was removed and another one was put in.  Upon returning home I regurgitated for two days and contemplated the monsters within….

 

Thank You For Your Visit  ~ Talk To Me

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